At what point in your education and training did you decide to
become a specialist in Sport and Performance Psychology?
I turned to Sport and Performance Psychology later in my career after
working as a clinical psychologist and consultant for many years. I always
have been interested in sports and mental performance, and also have
been a rider and athlete my whole life. I took the leap to shift my career
when riders and horse show parents started asking me for help with
performance anxiety—both for themselves and their kids. I began casually
working with riders and then my practice just grew. Personally, I also had
some experience searching for a Sport Psychologist for myself and my
own children. Through that search I realized there was a need for
someone with my unique skills and experience.
Does working and coaching in the equestrian world present unique
challenges for riders?
Absolutely! Our sport is unique. In most sports, coaches are not still
actively competing. My professional riders are often challenged by how to
balance their own riding and competing with coaching their students and
running a business. We work together on setting boundaries, managing
expectations, and also organizing life to make everything work more
smoothly. Usually my professional riders are too nice! They try to give too
much of themselves in every aspect of their business, and they get burned
out fast. They need help setting priorities, defining boundaries, and really
being clear about their professional destination. It’s hard to be a people
pleaser and also take care of yourself.
When you work with a client, does it involve their families and/or
support system outside of the arena?
It depends on the situation. Usually I just work with the client, but there
have been instances when I have consulted with the trainer as well. With
younger kids, I stay in touch with the parents, as appropriate, but my
teenagers are usually self sufficient! I know their parents are relieved I’m in
the picture.
Tell us a bit about your client demographics: What age riders do you
work with? What disciplines are the riders?
I work with riders as young as 10 and as old as 80. Right now I have hunter
jumper riders, dressage riders, 3 day eventers, and reiners, but I have also
worked with jockeys and polo players. I also work with many other non-equestrian athletes, business executives, entrepreneurs, and performers of
different types.
You have worked with International Eventing Olympian Lauren Billys
and Dressage rider Sarah Lockman, Individual Gold Medalist & Team
Silver Medalist – 2019 Pan American Games. Can athletes at other
levels reach out to you?
Absolutely, but it’s best to be passionate and driven! I can help guide and
support, but I need my clients to fully dive in…or take the reins, if you will.
Almost everyone who reaches out to me fits this description, no matter
what ‘level’ they currently ride or compete.
Is there one tip you can suggest to readers?
Yes. Abandon the perfectionism. Your personal requirement to be perfect
is making you frustrated, tight in your body and mind, and disruptive to
your relationship with your horse. And, it’s robbing you of joy, too.
Remember, your horse does not require you to be perfect. Your horse
asks that you be present and available. That’s it. And frankly, that is all we
can ask of your horse as well.
What is the best way to contact you and how do you start? Remote
or in person?
My website is www.darbybonomi.com; there you can find more information
about me and my work. You can also email me at
darby@darbybonomi.com, or reach me by text or phone at 415-713-4234,
instagram @drdarbybonomi and Facebook at @darbybonomisf
